Tantra School: Notes on Living with a natural, healthy sexuality. Deepening the awareness.

When you start seeing beyond your associations, when you experience your sexuality more directly, unclouded by fantasy and projection there's an opportunity to develop awareness. Your awareness of the real, the suchness of the experience of sex.

Ususally, one begins with the awareness of the mammalian base of your sexuality, the animal qualities.

A simple exercise for couples to experience this is to abstain for two weeks or so, then get together, and let the meeting be as wild, as natural, as mammalian as possible.

When you're aware of the instinctive, the automatic, it's time to explore deeper. Some techniques from traditional Tantra now become useful. Breathing exercises, rhythmic PCB mucle contractions and so on are useful for the exploration, as long as they don't in themselves become a distraction from your experience.

It's good to keep to fairly simple techniques, nothing more complex than the exercise described below.

The magic of seven.

This exercise can be done alone, as part of loving yourself, or with a partner. It's a simple technique with a huge variety of application.

The technique can be applied to a caress, a penetration, a breath, almost any physical action.

The action is repeated six times. On the seventh time, some variation is made to the action - firmer, smoother, rougher, longer, quicker etc.

The next cycle, the action is repeated five times. On the sixth and seventh times, the variation happens.

Next, the action repeats four times and is enanced/altered for the fifth, sixth and seventh.

- and so on, decreasing the "regular" action, and increasing the variation each time by one.

When you get to seven of the variation in a row, keep going for another six repeats of seven actions - in other words, you then use the variation 49 times. (If this is done, with gentle thrusts in coition varied to a deeper, more intense thrust it may be a bit challenging).

Notes:

It's not necessary to complete the full cycle of 49 actions once the sequence of sevens is complete. It can be good to make the old "variation" the new "standard, and alter it on the seventh action to set a new "variation".

If you can hand the count over to your automatic, or moving mind (the one that drives while you chat on the cellphone) you can then be aware of the way your sexual energy moves. The approach of orgasm can be experienced with great accuity, and the moment of it can be extended bu slowing the count, allowing deeper awareness.

Warning: This is not a good technique if you've got a tendency to go unfeeling, numb or unconscious, unaware in sex. It's a tool to enhance awareness, it doesn't create awareness form scratch. Used unconsciously, this technique can add to body armouring. It can deepen your unconsciousness.

Jealousy

(Dakini Anita, 27 August 2005)

In response to Pranchu

1. "I don't get jealous". Because I am already jealous of everything and everyone, all the time. It has been a base level negative emotion and so it was quite hard to identify it; it coloured everything! The part of me that I first experienced as god in meditation recognises each aspect of life is part of that whole; god/isness/the system. When Iam not connected to my heart, I really yearn to feel them; all of them. It feels the only right thing to have as a goal/direction. I am jealous that they are having an experience not included in my own.

2. When a lover enjoys time with someone else, and I don't experience it as beautiful, its because I'm not centred. When I am in polarity instead, there's none of that stillness to feel that love like honey in your veins; wow, where you can feel all your lovers and more, deep in their own beauty, and there is nothing but celebration. The subtle dance of energetic connection with people you choose to feel.
When I'm not in that place? I can't feel them. So, I want them to be near me to make the happy feeling. In essence; its about replacing openness with proximity. A really crap substitute. (Please note; openness defined here as permanent proximity; energetically. And it feels goooood)

3. And this leads me to my point. Jealousy then, for me at least, is about feeling left out.
When someone else is having a good time and we're not, YES, something IS very very wrong!

In caveman society, there was usually a chain reaction in the cave and soon everyone would be grunting away. Orgies were a huge part of primitive life, and I believe its natural because there was/is a magic something in it.
(No, I'm not saying that this should be part of everyday life. Even this would be a substitute)
There is a quality that we all know in our bones, because we're all after it all the time. It is that open, breathy anticipation that something incredible is about to happen, and then it does!! And its even better than we possibly could have imagined. Its wishes come true, its the magic that's perverted in advertising, the gratification perverted through consumerism..

I state;
No one that has experienced a truly flowing threesome/more; an experience where awareness and sharing is such that with zero competitiveness and truly open hearts, will ever again look at love in the same way. Love is physically manufactured in this open environment in vast quantities far more than two people could ever manage; even if the experience is more sensual than sexual. In fact, most of them start out that way because to rush to the sexual when its new can startle you out of openness.
Energy is far more real for me now, but even without that I notice people just know; they're drawn to it/me when I'm in it. Its their conditioning that won't let them believe that they Want To share!People, when they are jealous, do not want the love to stop! They just want In! (Try telling this to someone who is in a jealous rage and they'll knock your block off. Trust me.)

I really believe (from experience) relationship gets so dull because that first blast of openness in a new relationship gets clouded over by projection and that magic that happens in openness becomes an ever dwindling supply. Its our own openness we're craving; our own openness that makes the world magical and sparkly for those few months. The true romance is with ourselves; but again we feel it dwindling and try to replace it with proximity.
It is the single most yummy thing on the planet and here it is, disappearing on you?? All the passion gets converted, twisted, re-routed, because we will do any7thing to keep it! So, we conclude we have to preserve the experience in which we originally felt it. Don't do it! The nature of love and openness is such that this is the ONE and only thing sure to kill it! Ha! The irony! The pain! The confusion!
(Recreation of an experience from a mind already experiencing lack? Big Trouble.)

The problem? We don't know how to share without feeling threatened.
People think they'll get less love if they have to share because they misunderstand the nature of love; "the more the merrier" did not become a cliche for nothing.
Sometimes this fels so ridiculous making up a whole category called "spiritualism" and a whole website about it when its so natural to just be loving and understand that the more open hearts there are, the more delicious squidgy love there is to go around.

Love is the natural, base line experience of a human being; as long as its mind has not picked up a whole lot of trash that it keeps running as a filter over reality. The trash is a result of damage. Damage that needs healing. This can only happen if the human being gives its own consent and participates, hence terms like awareness pop up; a word stating that it can only be fixed from the inside. So unless you're willing to go where no-one else can ( not even your lover or your mother) and learn how to fix yourself, you are stuck with a faulty machine that will repeat a reaction endlessly, and make more and more innovative connections to that reaction.
This happened because you got scared and handed over control on an issue.
Your interface; the part of you that's not an immortal soul, the part that plugs you in to this game, which is very clever, like a supercomputer, and very very stupid, unoriginal and limited, like a supercomputer.
(I"m getting back to jealousy soon!) This computer tries to handle everything by categorising life into neat, limited and totally weird compartments, in the hopes that everything will become clear, no longer threatening or scary or irrational, and that everything will just be okay again.
Most of our actions are just about trying to recapture some feeling of okay-ness we lost. The okayness is a dim memory of the blissfully sweet delicious feeling that goes along with trust and openness (when you thought your daddy was the centre of the whole world ad the most wonderful thing you'd ever seen?) Your body was really relaxed and letting in a billion myriad sensations all at once, all the time.
But then a big whack of sensation you weren't ready for hit you and something shut down, handed over and tried to stop looking.Right up until That Moment; the one where you saw her/him; something opened like a sigh, like petals unfurling in your chest; the space between your eyes relaxed; and this person, this magical, wonderful saviour became your lover. Looked enough like some category your mind had for the person you trusted most before the shut down; and let you feel what life is like every single moment when your mind isn't in the way. Jealousy kicks in when we feel it going; and because it believes there isn't enough, it makes it so. and you shut down again, shutting down from your own openness, and incidnetally, the other person, the one you thought was responsible for the yummy feeling.

Jealousy is a natural fear, considering the perversions we accept.
Perversions of our openness.

The mystery schools teach you self awareness, and life lived with totality does the same, so that you can go into your controls and relax them, prove to them you are safe and life is trustworthy; sensation is trustworthy, so that it lets you feel it all again. Jealousy is far greater than a view on a short supply of love; its a faint echo on the urge to be god in your life; and that means feeling love throughout all that lives, and dies, and lives again as something else. Polyamoury is such a beautiful direct way to start to feel this; and, (immensely helpful and ultimately terrifying) the sum total of your fears preventing you feeling yourself as the source of your own love, and love in general.

Living with a natural, healthy sexuality. Deepening the awareness.

The magic of seven.

Jealousy

Recommended pages at meditate.co.za: Learning as a little child Association

Other exercises and meditations recommended: